A TRAVES DE LAS PAREDES FRONTERIZAS

To my sweet love,

A mi dulce amor,

I know our love has been moving fast on the mental plane.

Sé que nuestro amor se ha estado moviendo rápido en el plano mental.

At the same time, it has been moving very slowly in the physical realm.

Al mismo tiempo, se ha estado moviendo muy lentamente en el reino físico.

Every night I go to bed very lonely and flooded over with continually frustrated desire to clasp my body in passion to a very beautiful woman like you.

Cada noche me voy a la cama muy sola e inundada con el deseo continuamente frustrado de abrochar mi cuerpo en la pasión a una mujer muy hermosa como tú.

On the days and nights when you greet me and tell me you love me with your emoji kisses, my heart is filled with hope and my life with happiness.

En los días y noches en que me saludas y me dices que me amas con tus besos emoji, mi corazón está lleno de esperanza y mi vida de felicidad.

Just two or three words from you, “Good morning baby” or “I love you sweetheart” are all I need because I know your situation and you need to work long hours every day.

Apenas dos o tres palabras de usted, “bebé del buen día” o “te amo cariño” son todo lo que necesito porque sé su situación y usted necesita trabajar largas horas cada día.

But last night you didn’t text me back and my heart sank in severe darkness.

Pero anoche no me has texto de nuevo y mi corazón se hundió en la oscuridad severa.

I know you must have been very tired from working every day 12 long hours.

Sé que debes estar muy cansado de trabajar todos los días durante 12 largas horas.

Any other woman would have given up on our love long ago. We don’t speak the same language, don’t come the same country or culture, don’t even have work schedules that match each other, don’t have the same religion, don’t listen to the same music, don’t laugh at the same jokes, don’t barely get to plant sweet kisses on each other’s tasty lips.

Cualquier otra mujer habría renunciado a nuestro amor hace mucho tiempo. No hablamos el mismo idioma, no llegamos al mismo país o cultura, ni siquiera tenemos horarios de trabajo que coinciden, no tenemos la misma religión, no escuchamos la misma música, T risa en las mismas bromas, no apenas consigue plantar besos dulces en los labios sabrosos del uno al otro.

But still you held onto me long after others, with so much more in common, would have quit.

Pero aún así se mantuvo en mí mucho después de que otros, con mucho más en común, hubieran dejado.

So last night, when you didn’t text, I got scared you fell out of love and into the common sense that says this is too crazy and you decided it was too much not to drop, and my heart sank.

Así que ayer por la noche, cuando no escribiste, me asusté que te cayeras de amor y en el sentido común que dice que esto es demasiado loco y decidiste que era demasiado para no caer, y mi corazón se hundió.

I had asked you, because we couldn’t get our days matched up, to let me pick you up and spend the night and it seems you got reasonably scared because we’ve only seen each other in person for all of one work break and a meal at a restaurant but not really spent time together.

Te lo había preguntado, porque no podíamos conseguir que nuestros días coincidieran, para dejar que te recoja y pasar la noche y parece que tienes un miedo razonablemente porque sólo nos hemos visto en persona durante toda una pausa de trabajo y Una comida en un restaurante pero realmente no pasamos tiempo juntos.

You are working to avoid deportation while I am working to avoid death from diabetes due to loss of insurance and massive debt.

Usted está trabajando para evitar la deportación mientras estoy trabajando para evitar la muerte por diabetes debido a la pérdida de seguro y la deuda masiva.

Of course it seems wise at this time not to complicate our lives with the extremely hot fire of love. But honey I ask you please to do it anyway and come burn with me. For what is life without love but a living death? And there’ll be plenty of time to be dead when we really are dead. We’ve come so far and merged our hearts together in this great, amazing love, to give up now. We can’t give up, honey, We’ve got to hold on, we’ve come too far even in this short time already.

Por supuesto, parece prudente en este momento no complicar nuestras vidas con el fuego extremadamente caliente del amor. Pero cariño te pido por favor que lo hagas de todos modos y venga a quemar conmigo. ¿Qué es la vida sin amor, sino una muerte viva? Y habrá mucho tiempo para morir cuando realmente estamos muertos. Hemos llegado tan lejos y hemos unido nuestros corazones en este gran y asombroso amor, para renunciar ahora. No podemos rendirnos, cariño, Tenemos que aguantar, hemos llegado demasiado lejos en este corto tiempo.

Yes, I know we are caught now having to take a tremendous risk and do something very scary or else lose everything we have together. I know spending nights together is the only way since there are no days we can spend together. I know we don’t know enough yet to know how the years will turn, both of us having brought ourselves to the bitter pain of divorce through the tempestuous flames of youthful desire. But I say, baby, no love is ever perfect and every love demands you sacrifice more for it than you want to or are comfortable giving. But I say to you, darling, be brave and take this chance with me while we still have it. I will be there with you every step of the way and I promise you you will be so glad even despite the hardship we must take now to get there. But as the first Selena sang in a song many, many years ago, the one who sang in both English and Spanish, “Listen to your heart”. Please my baby. Don’t listen to fear. I know we can win big. You don’t have to chant NAM MYOHO RENGE KYO with me. It is enough that I do for us to gain absolute victory in life. Just by supporting me, the one who does chant, you are assured absolute victory in life, victory over incredible odds. Let’s not let this movie come to an unhappy ending. People are watching us and want to see us happily married forever. Now is our chance baby. I beg you don’t be scared. Come. Come spend the nights we have now and Let’s build our love into a treasure trove of happiness so not only we but our friends can see that love can work out in the lives of two courageous who trust each other and the forces of fortune and that there is still a chance for the human race. Come. Come join me, and together Let’s smash this border wall once and for all.

To say, “I love you” isn’t enough to express all I feel for you, love, but I will say these 3 (or 2) words anyway because they’re all I have.

I LOVE YOU, Y_______

♥️

MARC

¡Ah mi linda!

My soft skin to sweet touch, my daily medicine of love in the morning and in the evening,

and throughout the day which your fills with happiness that drives away all sadness.

How are you my darling? 

I so wait for your healing touch of ecstasy, taste beyond compare, that fills a man with delight beyond description.

POETRY: An Inconvenient Truth

If you have an extremely like me, being a man with a voracious appetite for life, to be anywhere and do anything, and life somehow not wanting to accept that and pushing back hard with the time and chains of poverty, bad luck and illness, with every minute marked out for something and always running over into time marked for something else, or more often, the vast realm of impossibility, poetry and you are simply just not cut out for each.

But, nay, there’s the rub. For the more of life you are in, the better the poetry gets, kind of like never getting the best pictures because how in heaven are you able to reach for that camera or phone when even your two hands (never enough, I think) can barely manage to hold onto the oars and the boat to make it through and you usually end up overturning into the oncoming, never stopping water anyway. 

I don’t remember much of what I read or what my teachers said in class as a young student, so naive and ignorant of the true ways of the world, but something I still believe as an immortal and unchangeable truth impressed me when a college professor compared the Roman writers, Ovid and Cicero, saying (most of you probably never heard of Ovid) that Ovid spent most if his time in the library while Cicero was put in life, among people, and of course a competitive reading of both authors is, as they say, history. I suggest you read both authors as I imaginr most of you haven’t.

Yes, poetry, thought and imagination, are always rude interruptions to the very thing which bore them, life itself. But, like our children, neither liking nor accepting the rules and schedules we arbitrarily impose on them, who either eventually subdue us and get their way and their freedom, or are borne down on so hard that we eventually break and turn into our corporate overlords at both ends of our paycheck a willing and submissive servant whose lights have been sufficiently put out to never question authority or peer pressure, poetry will either subdue us into it’s life of art or be snuffed out never to return, at least the idea it gave you. (There goes my blood sugar monitor alarming me and sniffing out this inspiration, like so many others that got lost in dark, invisible energy. Will have to leave off and return.)

I’m back. In 4 minutes, it will be time to wake up the kids and do gongyo. There goes poetry, like a mistress that comes in the night in a dream. I guess the interrupted nature of this piece will serve as an example worth 1,000 words. Besides, I’ll bet most of you are either impatient or already passed me on for someone else. At any rate, I use the time I chant to try to surrender any creative ideas while chanting daimoku (NAM MYOHO RENGE KYO) because NAM MYOHO RENGE KYO, being mystic (myo) is sublime and it makes both my chanting and my writing better so now what you’ve been seeing is my new enchantment.

Could be what appears to be the imminent presence of a new real woman in my life. I wrote the 600 pages of DNC Chairman when I was married, and my wife took care of many of my basic animal needs, so I could take care of my soul’s. I made myself write an hour a day and all day Sundays so I could get a masterpiece out before the 2008 Election. I often sat, from the scheduled, forced nature of it, in front of the computer screen, without a clue, because, as you know, if you’re still with me, poetry or art, does not like being on the clock. Nonetheless, I found with all that time which I don’t have the luxury of these days, that if you do force it, it starts to write itself. Besides, half the time or more, what I had written up to then, inspired me with so many ideas and spirit of what should come next.

At any rate, I’m 6 minutes for wake up and gongyo so

mi querida

The full moon has finally come
through the fine web of meshes that keep me shrouded away from life which I thirst, parched for.
Soon, my meshes of liberation, the engine of my parachute,
will be ready for launch,
and all the bad meshes, the confining steel bars, will be broken.
I can feel my imminent freedom,
like this tired old moon, which returns month after month,
entering my life for the first time
and devirginizing me of my lifelong misery and despair.
The moon appears in the darkness before the dawn. I am so excited, so eager……….

Kindness is the Only Parachute 

As I approach my final preparations for my jump off the cliff,

Remember this:

The only useful and effective parachute is the Bodhisattva Way.

Be there for and acknowledge the true self of others and they will support you where gravity won’t.

Matrix Bars Bend I Vow

Shortly before sundown
The landscape sparkles behind confining bars
Beckoning to the night, Saturday’s invitation
To the dance, To the love of the lovers,
To my dad’s birthday, imminent with celebration.
But, I, confined in before rusty steel bars,
Am going nowhere, one side gripped by stubborn illness,
The other by toxic work,
There is no fun permitted me.

Yet―――――――――!

3¼ hours of NAM MYOHO RENGE KYO
has cut through the suffering, the misery,
such a fate would sentence anyone to.
But not me! Yes the people and fun are phantoms.
But the peace has not and will not be robbed me.
Blow hell you steely smoke of charred pain!
You’ll never succumb me, might’s well surrender now.
I am the sunshine, the people, the party,
Turned around on you, my matrix bars bend I avow.20170805_194512